just journaling...

(says: #1 Dad)

Kosty is something. SO frustrating sometimes lately because he comes home from school just rotten to the core. He is hungry and tired and he "misses home", but he WILL NOT talk about it. He won't eat either at that point because he is over-hungry and over-tired. He comes home and just falls on the floor and starts whining and groaning (could there be a worse sound? it makes me want to punch something.) and being super rude. He also has a new favorite phrase which gets under my skin like no other. "I don't care." 


I can't have a snack ready because he is so weird about food and never wants the same thing. So, I have to wait for him to chill out, usually by ignoring his rotten attitude at first and then tickling him or picking him up and squeezing him till he starts being sweet again. I know so much of his temperament is affected by over stimulation and being just plain HUNGRY. As soon as I can get him to eat something, he instantly snaps out of it. The hard part is trying to get him to eat something healthy. I know he needs protein and not sugar. Yet, he wants sugar and hates most things with protein. He's allergic to peanut butter, won't eat cheese (any form! coooome on!), lunch meat, or yogurt (most days), which are obviously the quickest and easiest protein snacks. He does LOVE eggs but he eats them every morning so I'm trying to get him to like a different kind of protein. I'm always torn between 'eating something is better than nothing' or he might as well eat nothing if he's gonna eat junk. However when it comes to dinner, he is ALWAYS the first one at the table, hands washed and ready to eat. He loves dinner. And he scarfs it. I'm so grateful he loves eggs for breakfast and eats a big dinner, but its all the in between that he is lacking. 


He whines when we have family prayer and usually whines about personal prayer. However he is the only one who won't touch a bite of food until the blessing has been said. He has such a hard time expressing love and emotion, which I worry about. I told my friend in my new ward the other day that he rarely hugs and NEVER kisses, and she about flipped. Sometimes I wonder if I am making him like that somehow, or what could I do better to help him be more affectionate. Jeremy and I both are very  affectionate with both boys, though so not sure what to do about that. 


He shows his love always unexpectedly, however. 


Like the other night at dinner, when I was teasing Brayden about acting like I was a waiter. I said something like, "waiter, waiter, where is my water?" Kosty JUMPED out of his chair, jumped onto the counter, got out a glass, filled it with water and ran it over to me.


 Or like yesterday, I was teaching art masterpiece to his class and the whole class went to wash their hands, and I was cleaning up a paint spill on the floor, and suddenly he came up behind me and gave me the biggest bear hug of his life. I about balled right then and there. 


Or like today, randomly after school, he started coloring a picture, and then he asked me which door daddy would be coming in when he gets home. He taped it right to that garage door for Jer to see. 


Never an easy kid, but he sure is a challenge I am always up for.