future missionary.

Kosty came home from church a while back wearing this cute missionary label. I grabbed my camera of course cause he just looked so cute, and he started to run and hide, then cover the badge. Not surprising.

Ah ha. There it is. I love primary teachers that go out of their way sometimes. 

stef goes to germany.

I still can't believe she did it! My little sister is actually living in Germany for the time being. She is a brave girl. I know I would never ever go to a foreign country, by myself, have strangers pick me up from the airport, move into their attic, and take on a position as an au pair (nanny) for a kid that she's also never met...she is nuts! but I'm proud of her for accomplishing her goal. She has talked about going to Germany for years, and I always thought it was simply that: talk. 

Point proven. She's been there for about a month now. She is making friends, learning the language, and trying to learn to find decent food to eat besides ham and bread. In the meantime, I am thankful her new "family members" are not evil killers, learning the ropes of Skype, and brushing up on some simple German words. LOVE YOU PEEFUM!

suns.

Brayden loves soccer and never ever wants to play another sport. But he also didn't want to try soccer in the first place and ended up loving it. So, I told him I want him to at least TRY all the sports to see what he ends up liking. Basketball? notsomuch. He had his moments of "fun", but mostly, he was very frustrated at his performance. He was pretty good for a first timer, but he holds a very high standard and he is way too hard on himself! Well, I'm glad we can cross basketball off the list for now. Jer keeps saying he will end up loving it, once he "grows into his body" and if I don't get him the "cheap, slippery shoes" .....we'll see. 

kosty

Kosty has this thing lately where he decides to drive Brayden NUTS by acting and looking very sweet, cute, and innocent. Mostly when he's combing his hair. It gets me every time & that annoys Brayden even more. But look at that face! I want to eat.him.up. 

fast sunday

This morning was our first Sunday of 8 am church. You could say all of us had not been looking forward to the day, but Brayden was the one who complained the most. I could barely peel myself out of bed at 6:30 and get ready so I was dreading waking up the boys. As I was getting ready, I heard Brayden get up and so I went into the family room expecting him to be relaxing and watching cartoons. He was actually putting on his church clothes. Then he told me that he would like to fast today. I asked him what he wanted to fast about, and he said he wasn't sure. I told him he could fast about a blessing he was hoping for, or maybe a new baby to join or family. He was excited about the baby idea and committed to it.  We were heading to a baby blessing for my good friend in my old ward. (Their ward and our ward switched to 8 am today). I forgot to mention that for the past several fast Sundays, Brayden has challenged me.."if you bear your testimony, I will too." And last month, I turned it around on him. I said, "if you do, I will." And so he didn't. And I didn't. I felt really bad about that and was disappointed in myself. Brayden has not born his testimony in a very long time. I can't even remember the last time. Maybe several years ago. 

As the Bishop announced the time to bear testimonies, I looked over at Brayden and noticed he had the look of nervousness. I could almost feel his heart pounding in his chest as he told me that he was going to get up. And then off he went. He bore his sweet and simple testimony and this is what I remember. "I'd like to bear my testimony. I know that my family loves me and I love them. I know that Thomas S. Monson is a true prophet, and I know the story of Joseph Smith, and I know that it is true. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen." So sweet, so simple, such a good example this boy is to me. I couldn't keep my eyes dry and he laughed when he saw me wiping the tears. I told him that they were most definitely tears of joy, and that I was so very proud of him. 

I had been struggling with feelings of deep discouragement this week. I beat myself up about my parenting, my spirituality, and frustration with myself and that I'm not good enough in my calling to teach the Young Women. I was disappointed in my inability to express what is in my heart and override the fear of bearing my testimony. I was doubting my ability as a wife, mother, and teacher. 

All of that went away as I sat in church and soaked it all in. I feel regrouped, recommitted, peaceful, and happy. Heavenly Father wants us to feel this way all of the time. Satan's biggest tool is discouragement, and it surely got a hold of me this week. I am so, so grateful for Brayden's example, for fasting, and the spiritual blessings we received today. 

first day of school.

Both boys in school all day this year. Oh, my little tiny Kosty. Gone all day now for 6 hours! I was nervous leading up to it, thinking that he would really resist the change. About a week before school, I came into the kitchen and saw his first day of school outfit laying on the floor all set up. He asked me every day if it was the day. I overheard him a couple times saying.."I just can't wait for school to start." Surprise, surprise! That kid is always surprising me. I guess I was worried since Brayden had such a hard time adjusting. He cried and cried, faked sick, clung to my legs when I dropped him off, and begged me to pick him up early everyday. That was different though, Brayden is a Momma's boy. Kosty.....not even close. And since he isn't, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. After the first two days I asked him if he misses me at all and he said, "Well, I do miss the house." 

I'll never be one of those moms that either hates when school starts or loves it. Its always a totally mixed emotions kind of a day. I thought I would cry when I walked Kosty in, but I didn't. He was excited. He is an eager learner and a good student. He loves consistency and schedules. He listens to his teachers. He thrives  without me. That realization should have made me cry. I guess I'm just happy for him. Happy that he was happy. I am sad about the fact that now he will always be gone from home FOREVER during the day. That part does makes me sad. And of course, I never thought I would be an 'empty nester' so early. I thought I'd always have a baby or two at home with me. So, it's a premature freedom, but it is freedom, and I'm going to enjoy it.

When I pick the kids up from school is my favorite part of the day. They come running towards the car, huge happy smiles, hair bouncing up and down, happy as can be...my two boys. Together at the same school. Loving being there together. Loving coming home. And they are so cute. SO darn cute. My heart is full of joy and gratitude. I am so lucky. I wasn't expecting that to be the moment when I got all emotional but it was. I adore these boys.

tie dye fun & 4th of July.

Our Fourth of July consisted of crepes with Uncle Zach for breakfast (he spent the night), a BBQ and swimming over at the Figgins, tie-dying t-shirts with the pro--(Zach), and fireworks of course.  Both amatueur and professional. Then we got a visit from Aunt Stef who recently moved to Germany!

Cousin Zoe.

 Plaid and Tie dye? Sure kids! can you tell my giveadarnisbusted?

summer recap...

Arcade. Aunt Stef visit. Aunt Brittney's house. Basha Pool. Basketball. Cooking with Mom. Chores for toys. Donuts. Eating out. Family Wii. Family night swim. Frozen Hot Chocolate. Grandma's house sleepover. Hunt for scorpions at Santan Mountain. Haircuts. Ice Cream. Jello Pudding Pops. Library Reading Program. Mall. New friends over. Origami. Peter Piper. Popsicles.  Reading forts. Swimming. Sprinkler trampoline fun. Slip N Slide. Summer Movies. Straw Blow Art. Tie Dye T-shirts. Vacation. Water Balloons. Write Letters to Alex and Madison. Uncle Zach sleepover. 

I feel like school got out, we blinked, and it was back in. 7 weeks of non stop fun. It goes especially fast since our vacation is at the very end. We get back and have one week till school. This was our first summer that we didn't seem to have even one day of BOREDOM. We made our list and did 'something' every single day. Swimming days were 80% of our 'somethings'. My house was always messy and full of legos, forts, friends, paper airplanes, and art supplies. Such a fun summer. Loved it so much!