my new favorite picture in the whole world

is this one...

okay, and this one...

taken by this cute girl right here, Jer's sis {Cede} with her fancy camera. Lucky girl. Thanks for sending me these Ceed! Better late than never.

Girls Day Out

Last week for my big sister's birthday, me, her and my stepmom all went during a school day and actually ate lunch, got pedicures and ice cream! It was so strange for us to think that it was a Friday afternoon, and there we were with no children. We were enjoying ourselves so much, then all of a sudden we realized it was past 2:00....snap, back to reality, gotta get home before Brayden does. The school day sure does go by fast! Oh, and my sister found out she was pregnant with #2 on her birthday, so fun!

{happy}

At dinner, Kosty tried to touch a hot pan. Brayden told him, "No~ Kosty don't touch that, it's hot!!" I thanked him for protecting his brother and told him it was nice.

Then Kosty replied, "Yeah Bubba, an that make Jesus happy."

another conversation I have to jot down... Brayden knows that eventually we are going to get bunk beds for him and Kosty to share a room. He is really counting down the days, and he asked me where we were going to get the beds..."How about Oasis Bedrooms?"

Me: laughing, "why Oasis?"
Brayden: "Oh, I mean More Furniture for Less. It costs NO money till 2012, and it's only 2008!!"

outflow determines inflow

Some of you may remember I wrote about the book I read a while ago, "A New Earth." It intrigued me quite a bit, since Oprah would not shut up about how much it would "change your life, awaken you, change the earth!" I didn't find it to be that dramatic..I am pretty content in my life, however I know we are all a work in progress, there was a lot of good information that I needed to hear, and it really made me think. Which I was happy to do for a change ;)

One of the greatest things that I got from it was the simple statement, Outflow Determines Inflow. It makes so much sense, and I really do believe this to be true. He talks about how some people complain and whine their way through life. About how they are not welcomed enough, loved enough, helped enough, cared for enough. He says that means YOU are not giving those things to the world. He said whatever it is you feel like you are not getting, simply means you are not giving it. A harsh, but true reality check. This instantly struck me, and has stayed with me ever since.

I think back to when I said things about not feeling at home in my new ward, or not feeling welcomed at any particular setting. I now know that I am the one responsible. A difficult lesson for me, since I have always resorted to "I'm just shy... an introvert, that's just the way I am." No more excuses. If I want to have a friend, I have to be a friend. If I want service when I am in need, I need to give service to those in need. When I feel unwelcome or unloved, then I need to step up and be that welcoming person. To get, you have to give. (this even applies to blog comments, ha ;)

I am grateful for this valuable lesson.

week update

I haven't done just an update post in a while. Brayden has finally started to get better with school. I think the low point was when he came home "sick" one day with an unbearable earache, that he later told me wasn't true. He balled hysterically for that entire day, it was heart wrenching. I started asking if I needed to switch schools, teachers, anything to make him happy. He told me "No, I like my teacher, I just want to got to a school that's not long." After telling him all the schools are that long, he begged to go back to Kindersteps or preschool, and told me that he felt like he lived at school. Then with tears pouring down his little cheeks, he finally said, "Mama, school is so long, I forget what you look like."

He stopped eating, and I was literally dragging him into class every morning. It was so terrible. Then his teacher gave him a "new special job.". Thursday and Friday were his first days he went without crying. Progress. Ms. Wahla assigned him to be the "bell work" teacher...which means he teaches the class what they are supposed to do first thing after the bell. Then he gets to stamp their papers. He felt important, and was really excited about his new job, so that helped a lot. I want to be a fly on the wall so badly to watch him do his "bell work teaching." Adorable.

There is a point to this story, promise: For the last few weeks in church, the sacrament bread has been sooooo delicious. We guessed it was homemade, but it was extra sweet and moist. Brayden {and me} will try to eye the biggest piece before we pick one, I'm sure we're not the only ones! The first time he tried it, he said, "MMMM! DONUT BREAD!!" So for enrichment night, the talented girl who makes the bread every week, taught us all how to make it. It was about a 3 hour process, and I was so excited to come home and bake my precious loaves. They came out delicious, and Jer was very excited, since I never buy white bread, let alone make it. The next morning I was so excited to tell Brayden he could eat as much of the donut bread he wanted to this time! We pretty much scarfed the first loaf in one day.

Saturday morning when I came home from the gym, this is what remained of my beautiful second loaf. (Jamie, close your eyes!) A loaf that was still wrapped and untouched when I had last seen it. Sigh. Sometimes I do not know why I still love that little MONSTER! Seriously.





Friday night, I had a girls night out with some friends and we saw "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants," it was really cute. Then Sunday we had Stake Conference, and that evening we went over to the Figgins for dinner, and then went over to their neighbor/friends house to see their brand new wiener dog puppies. Kosty was holding one on his lap, and all of a sudden he started singing, "Rock a bye baby," as he sat there petting the little pup. I melted. Then we were getting ready to leave, and he wanted to hold the other puppy. This time he sang, "You are my sunshine." I think my heart skipped a beat, and my eyes filled with tears, it was the sweetest thing I have ever seen him do.

So I guess I do know why I still love this little boy of mine.

two words

Crow. Pose.

Go ahead... give it a whirl, and hold it for much longer than necessary without falling. I don't think I'm prepared for how sore my body is going to be in the AM. Today's yoga class was by far the most intense yet. Every time I go there has been a different teacher, its amazing to see how different each class is with each teacher. Today was my first encounter with the crow. Wow. Jennie, Jamie, Brooke, Lori, Brittany, and anyone else who goes to L.A.--You missed out!

when I grow up

I want to be like Sister Garrison, Brayden's primary teacher at church. She is not like any average teacher though, she truly has that extra something and gives her all to her calling. She is a retired school teacher and she always goes above and beyond. She comes to each of the kids' homes if they were sick or out of town to give them the lesson in person. Not only does she teach a fabulous lesson in church, she also hands out a Family Home Evening lesson with activity every single Sunday! For this particular lesson, it was about when Jesus fed the thousands with the fish and bread, and she gave every kid a freshly baked loaf of whole wheat bread, goldfish crackers, and a flannel board story. She is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, not to mention adorable, humble, and sweet, I could go on and on. I wish she could always be Brayden's primary teacher, and wow, what an example she is!

another reason we keep him around

His squishy face happy dance!

Adjusting

Poor Brayden. After that first hard day of school, things got better. Every day, he says he really likes his teacher when I ask him. She called me and we got to talk about some concerns I was having about the curriculum being to repetitive since he had already completed Kindersteps. She was very kind, aware of his personality, and put me at ease.

Then yesterday when I picked him up, he told me he had lost his dollar, and got a "red." So I immediately pulled out his folder and found a half page note about his bad behavior that day. We had a long talk with him and took away some privileges. But I was confused and frustrated. Last year his teacher had nothing but good things to report, and he always earned a "green" on his behavior chart. He was even the lucky recipient of being the "Blue WOW Kid of the Day" on several occasions. But of course I believe her. I too, have noticed a change in his behavior. I know he has complained every day that school is too long. And it is! I think he is having a hard time adjusting to all day. This morning I asked him to write an apology to his teacher. We got in the car and started heading to school, and that's when he asked me in a tiny sad voice, "Mama will you come to lunch with me today?" I said I would and then asked him what was wrong. I turned around to see big tears in his eyes, as he said, "School is too long. I think about you all day, and I miss you the whole time."

Heartbreaking.

I told him I would come back to sit with him at lunch today, and then I walked him up to the school. All the kids were standing around waiting for teachers. Brayden looked sullen and weepy eyed. Then he sat down on the sidewalk and put his head in his hands. It broke my heart into pieces. I had to say good bye, this time with tears in both of our eyes.

It does get better. I got to the cafeteria for lunch, and he turned around and spotted me, jumped to his feet, gave me a big excited wave and had a happy reassuring smile on his face.
The first thing he said was, "Mama, we get to have a puppet show after lunch! I like the lion the best. He has a big smile and adorable eyes."

That brought the biggest smile to my face. That's exactly what I see when I look at you, Bubba.

worshiping false idols

Tonight Kosty volunteered for the family prayer. He usually declines, so we were excited. Ready and listening with perked up ears. Then he begins,

"Dear Harry Potta,

Grateful for yis day. Pwease hewp me to choose the right.
And hewp Mama make dinnew.

Jesus Christ,
Amen."