grateful

I am so tired, I need to be in bed right now, but I wanted to record what I'm feeling right now before it slips away. This morning I headed off at 9 am to the boutique. I had a hard time getting out of the house, when Kosty requested that our usual routine of snuggling on the couch and watching Elmo not be missed. That boy thrives on routine like no other. He refused his Dad, and I had to leave anyway, with a disappointed little boy sitting on the couch. Guilt. I didn't get home until almost 8 pm...and right when I walked in the door, the boys came running, and I got down on my knees for the biggest hugs I think I've ever had from them. Kosty even patted my back for a good 10 seconds. The first thing he said to me was, "Can you make dinnew?" Yes, you heard that right, it was nearly 8 pm and my kids hadn't eaten dinner. Love ya babe. Men just aren't as in tune as women are, bless their hearts, and that is why we are mothers. He is a wonderful dad though, he had just taken them to the school's family movie night. I felt guilty for missing that too. Jer said when Brayden got home from school, he immediately called out my name and then when he realized I wasn't here, he told Jer, "Mama always makes me a snack when I get home." I know how important this role that I have is at this moment, these are years I will never get back, and it truly is the most rewarding job I could ever have. I know this is where I belong, and that this is the most important work I will ever do. I know it isn't always possible, but it doesn't change the fact that I truly believe every child deserves to have their mom home to answer when they get home from school, to snuggle and watch morning cartoons with, and to tuck them in bed at night. I have had to work part time in the past when Brayden was little, which is much of the reason why I am sooooo grateful to be a stay at home mom. I wouldn't trade it for any paycheck in the world.